The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Inductees, Class of 2022, According to That Damn Sam

 In lieu of nothing worthwhile to post, read or share on social media (nothing but negativity, bad news, doom and gloom -- probably for good reason), I decided I would do a little something different today. 

This time of year always lights a fire under my backside. The 2022 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame nominees have been released and I am always astounded at how many artists are still not in the Hall of Fame (and how many are in the Hall who probably shouldn't be there). 

I know my opinion doesn't mean squat, but this is my site and I pay the annual domain fee, so I will speak my mind. For the first time ever, I am going to cast my vote for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, Class of 2022. I will try to make this an annual thing, since it gets sand in my craw every year.

I can vote for FIVE of the below list of 17 nominees:

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Disclaimer:

One name that immediately caught my eye is Dolly Parton. Let me first say that Dolly Parton is a national treasure. I will never talk shit about Ms. Parton. She's an American icon. She's not only a brilliant songwriter and musician, she's an incredible philanthropist.  Her Imagination Library is a beautiful gesture to humanity. But there's nothing about Dolly that's rock and roll. After learning she was a nominee, Dolly herself said, "I've never thought of myself as rock and roll in any sense of the word." 

So I am sorry, Dolly. You can't get my vote, but I will always love you.

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Buckle up and get ready to argue with me. Here are my five inductees into the Class of 2022:

The classic Judas Priest lineup. Leather and studs. That was the look.

1. Judas Priest. So here we are in 2022 and it occurs to me that the most influential heavy metal band of all time is still not in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. How does this stuff happen? 

Judas Priest was formed in 1969 and they are still rocking to this day. Their look, sound and attitude defines what we now know as heavy metal rock and roll. Judas Priest's dual guitar attack has influenced every heavy metal band on the planet (that's not hyperbole) and lead vocalist Rob Halford is considered the genre's quintessential vocalist. Priest has never had a Top 40 hit in the U.S. pop charts (true to heavy metal form), but they have had 11 records in the U.S. Top 40 album charts and their worldwide album sales exceed 50 million. British Steel, released in 1980, is considered one of the greatest metal albums of all time. Songs like "Breaking the Law," "You've Got Another Thing Comin'" and "Living After Midnight," although never considered commercial "hits," have become an indelible part of the rock and roll landscape.  

To me, Judas Priest was the first and most obvious inductee on this list.

Fun Fact: Lead singer Rob Halford was considered the ultimate "heavy metal alpha male" in the 1980s. In reality, he is a gay man who loves cats. I can't make this stuff up!

Pat Benatar

2. Pat Benatar. This is Pat Benatar's second nomination in the past three years. Can we PLEASE get this woman into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame? This is ridiculous. 

Benatar was a feminist trailblazer in the 1980s, when true rock and roll (not Madonna-bubblegum pop) was an all-boys club. Her debut album, In the Heat of the Night, was released in the summer of 1979, and she set the rock world on its ear with the hit single "Heartbreaker." 

As the 80s rolled on, so did the hits: "Love Is a Battlefield," "Hit Me with Your Best Shot," "Treat Me Right," "Fire and Ice," "We Belong," "Shadows of the Night," ... I mean, come on! Six Top 20 albums, fifteen Top 40 hits, four Grammy Awards and albums sales in excess of 35 million. And she's got pipes that will peel paint off the walls. Enough of this nonsense. She's in the Hall.

Fun Fact: Benatar's maiden name is Andrzejewski. It is pronounced exactly as it's spelled.

Duran Duran... a bunch of guys named Taylor and Simon Le Bon

3. Duran Duran. Okay, I will admit it. Duran Duran deserves to be in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. I try not to overstate things, and I don't think it is too much to say that, by 1986, no band since the Beatles had influenced music culture and fashion as much as these five guys from Birmingham, England. 

As a teenage boy growing up in the 80s, I didn't mind Duran Duran because of one simple fact: if their music was playing, it was guaranteed a bunch of cute girls were nearby... but I digress. The good news is the band had substance to their style; these guys weren't just pretty, they could actually play. More than that, their songs have stood the test of time: "Rio," "Hungry Like the Wolf," "The Reflex," "Is There Something I Should Know," still sound fresh. The band has scored fifteen Top 40 hits and they have sold more than 100 million albums worldwide, making them one of the best selling music groups of all time, yet they've never seemed to get the respect they actually deserve. Well, they check all the boxes for me. They're in.

Fun Fact: In the 1980s, Duran Duran included John Taylor, Andy Taylor and Roger Taylor. None were related.

Lionel Richie

4. Lionel Richie. This is the most obvious shoo-in on the entire ballot. Actually, I was shocked to learn that neither Lionel Richie nor the Commodores were in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. (Yet Jay-Z is? Jesus, just shoot me.) 

Richie was the principal songwriter for the Commodores before going on an off-the-Richter-scale successful solo career. "Three Times a Lady," "Hello," "Truly," "Endless Love," "Sail On," "Brick House," "Deep River Woman," "Say You Say Me," "All Night Long," "Dancing on the Ceiling," "Stuck on You," ...oh, "We are the World," (you may have heard of that one)... these are just some of the songs Richie has written in his 54 year career in music. As a solo artist alone he has recorded thirteen Top 10 hits, including five #1 hits. He will be given the Gershwin Prize for Popular Song by the Library of Congress later this year (the country's greatest honor in the performing arts). He's a Kennedy Center Honors recipient. He's won four Grammy Awards, a Golden Globe and an Academy Award. He's enshrined in the Songwriters Hall of Fame and has received the Johnny Mercer Award, the highest honor one can receive as a songwriter. He was also the first artist to ever receive the RIAA Diamond Award, which is an album selling over 10 million copies (1983's Can't Slow Down). You know what? The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame seems a step down, doesn't it?

Fun Fact: Lionel Richie wrote and produced "Lady," for country music legend Kenny Rogers. The song went to #1 on the Billboard pop and country charts. It was probably #1 on Mars and Saturn, too.

The New York Dolls, 1973.

5. New York Dolls. I admit, this is a tough one. It's my last vote. But I must go with seminal. That's the key word. 

I'm inducting the New York Dolls, at long last, into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. The New York Dolls were true pioneers of the punk and glam rock movement. Without the Dolls, there would be no Sex Pistols, Ramones, Green Day, KISS or Guns 'N Roses (all members of the Hall of Fame), just to name a few. The New York Dolls were not commercially successful and they were only active from 1971-1976 (not including a reunion some 40 years later -- only two of the original five members were still alive). Despite being a working band for only five years, they left a deep imprint on rock and roll and they are considered by rock historians as one of the most important and influential bands of the pre-punk era. It is time they are enshrined. 

Fun Fact: Most people know the New York Dolls best by lead singer David Johansen, who changed his image and stage name to lounge singer Buster Poindexter in the late 1980s. He recorded a cover of Arrow's dance tune "Hot Hot Hot" in 1987 which was a massively successful single. It was Johansen's only hit of his 50+ year career.

Ear Buds Don’t Taste Good

 Ava took these beautiful photos of our dog, Lulu, last evening. Ava has a photographer’s eye; she was proud of these pictures because it is all natural evening sunlight, no filters.

Praising her for being such a good dog and posing so nice, Ava offered her a treat. 

Plot twist: Ava had her Bluetooth (wireless) ear buds in, and when she leaned down to give Lulu a Milkbone, her ear bud fell out onto the floor … see where this is going? 

I suddenly heard a commotion and frantic cries of  “No, Lulu! No! No!” I jumped out of my chair and rushed to the kitchen to find Ava desperately reaching into the dog’s mouth. 

Lulu, thinking in the ear bud was a tasty treat, swallowed the goddamned thing in an instant. 

Normally, I’m pretty chill about this kind of stuff. Dogs are quite resilient. However, this was a rechargeable ear bud with a lithium battery inside. Ava couldn’t be certain that the dog hadn’t bitten into it before gobbling it down, it just happened so quickly; if Lulu had bitten it, the battery acid could leak out and eat into her stomach or intestines. In short, it could be fatal. 

So, after a discussion with Dr. Kemp, the on-call veterinarian, we spent our Friday evening at the Crosslake animal hospital. Lulu got a magical IV injection. She puked just like Linda Blair in the Exorcist. Ear bud recovered, just like new. 

There’s never a dull moment. 

There it is. It probably didn’t taste very good going down or coming up. 

The Rams and the Bengals Spin a Tangled Web

Most of you know I am a football nut. I love the sport, I loved playing the game and I love the game's history. 

I’m always amazed at the crazy connections you can uncover if you start digging into the bedrock of pro football history. Recently, while slowly compiling my own NFL history (during the cold winter months I don't binge on Netflix, I research and write), I've made a fun discovery: this year’s Super Bowl teams--the Rams and the Bengals--have a direct tie to each other. 

In fact, we could call this year's championship game the Long Lost Battle of Ohio. How? Read on!

Our story starts in 1934, with an Ohio physician and NFL pioneer named Harry March. 

Dr. March's passion for football started in college. He played on Mount Union's very first collegiate football team in 1893 and later worked as team doctor for the legendary Canton Bulldogs. Dr. March had served nine seasons as president of the New York Giants after convincing Tim Mara to invest $500 in the team. 

Unfortunately, after a dispute with Boston Redskins owner George Preston Marshall, Dr. March sold his interest in the New York Giants and left the National Football League that same year.

Dr. Harry March (above). He convinced Tim Mara, who had never seen a football game, to invest $500 in the New York Giants. Mara's family owns the Giants to this day, now worth $4.85 billion. A considerable return on his investment.

Dr. March was a visionary and he believe he could model pro football after pro baseball, with two rival leagues playing a “Football World Series.” With the help of a few investors, he decided to form his own league in 1936. 

Stuck for a name, he simply called his new organization the American Football League.*

*(Quick note: To understand pro football history is to realize it gets confusing. Everybody loved the name "American Football League." In fact, there were four separate, unrelated AFLs between 1926 and 1960. Historians refer to them as AFL I, AFL II, etc. Each league was formed to rival the monopolized NFL and none lasted more than two seasons, except the AFL IV).

March's AFL, commonly referred to as AFL II, featured eight franchises, including one based in Cincinnati called the Bengals. This team is unrelated to the current Super Bowl-bound Cincinnati Bengals, but there is a historical connection, as we shall see. 

The original Cincinnati Bengals vs. Boston Shamrocks; a 1937 match-up from Dr. March's AFL II. An interesting sidenote: the Shamrocks were very successful in Boston and outdrew the NFL's Boston Redskins, prompting that franchise to move to Washington in 1937. This must have put a smile on Dr. March's face, since he left the NFL after a dispute with the Redskins' owner. courtesy: cincymuseum.org

A second Ohio-based team in the new AFL II was called the Cleveland Rams, a team founded by businessman Homer Marshman. Figuring the hard work was already done for him, Marshman chose the nickname "Rams" after the powerhouse collegiate team, Fordham Rams. He even "borrowed" their logo and red/black color scheme. Let's say it was a simpler time.

Any similarities between Fordham University's logo and Cleveland Rams' logo are definitely not coincidental. courtesy: redbubble.com

The Cleveland Rams defected to the more established NFL in 1937. This also proved to be the last season of the AFL II; it had only survived two years.

Harry March passed away in 1940, more than two decades before his “World Series of Football” vision became a reality (what we now call the Super Bowl).

courtesy: sporsteamhistory.com

In 1946 the United States finally settled into peacetime, and the public was primed for entertainment. The All-America Football Conference was launched, yet another league formed to rival the NFL. This time the competition was serious; a star of this new league was Ohio coaching legend Paul Brown, who was paid handsomely to lead a new franchise in Cleveland. 

The All-America Football Conference, the NFL's first serious rival. courtesy:logoserver.com

Coach Brown was a hero in Ohio after guiding the Ohio State Buckeyes to a national championship four years earlier. Not a bit full of himself, named his new Cleveland team the Browns.

The NFL's Cleveland Rams were already struggling to put fans in the stands. Now, what was left of their fan base quickly defected to the legendary Ohio coach and his wildly popular Browns. The NFL granted permission for the Rams to pack their bags and head to Los Angeles.

The Rams stayed in Los Angeles until 1994. The franchise relocated to St. Louis for 20 years, but has called Los Angeles home again since 2016.

After four seasons, the AAFC could not sustain itself financially. The league folded, but the AAFC's Cleveland Browns, San Francisco 49ers and the original version of the Baltimore Colts all accepted invitations to join the NFL monopoly. 

courtesy: wikipedia.com

Now the plot thickens. 

Paul Brown coached his namesake team for almost two decades before he was fired by Cleveland Browns' owner Art Modell--a controversial and sensational sports story at the time. 

The NFL left a bad taste in Brown's mouth, but he was not done with professional football, not yet, especially if it meant getting even with that commie bastard Modell. 

In 1960, yet another league was formed to compete with the NFL (American Football League IV). When Brown heard that league was looking to establish a rival franchise in Ohio, he jumped at the opportunity. He was given complete control over the new organization. 

He called his new team the Bengals, named after the short-lived team 32 years earlier from Dr. Harry March's AFL II. Brown felt it made a nice historic connection with the past.

Brown essentially ripped off the Browns' (his Browns) color scheme; he mulled over several helmet designs, but settled on the Browns' plain orange shell with the word "BENGALS" slapped on the side. It is possible Coach Brown was trying to make a point. 

Cincinnati has been home to the Bengals since 1968.

Paul Brown leading his second professional football franchise, the Cincinnati Browns Bengals in 1968. He had been inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame the previous year. courtesy: americanfootball.fandom.com

So there you have it, a direct tie between today's Los Angeles Rams and Cincinnati Bengals: 

1. Both teams originated in Ohio; the Rams and original Bengals both formed in 1936 and were two of the eight teams in Dr. March's American Football League II.
2. The Ohio coaching legend who chased the Rams out of Cleveland (and to Los Angeles) later formed a new team in Cincinnati called the Bengals, named after the original 1936 team.
3. On February 13th, Homer Marshman's former Cleveland Rams will face Paul Brown's Cincinnati Bengals in Super Bowl LVI, in the Long Lost Battle of Ohio.
4. No, you can't make this stuff up.

Brown with an array of Bengals prototype helmets. The helmet he is holding looks remarkably similar to today's design. The Bengals switched to the tiger stripe design in 1981; this photo was taken in 1967. Brown ultimately settled on a much less creative design. courtesy: bigblueview.com